hold your own, know your name, and go your own way.

[likesboys]

[ ENTRY ONE | PUBLIC ]

It looks like there's a serviceable internet connection that I can reach with my smartphone. Is anyone else checking this? Are there any plans to organize ourselves into a group of some kind?



[ ENTRY TWO | FILTERED, VISIBLE TO: NONE ]

I never really cared about MySpace when it came out. People started using it all over the place, but I saw the way that the Cheerios would take Rachel's profile and laugh at all the songs she uploaded, so I never bothered. I guess I learned the easy way, and Rachel... never learned at all. Gotta admire her for that, though. She had guts. Still does, I'm sure, even if I don't have any way to reach her now.

None of my emails go through. None of my calls even land in voicemail. But there's this blog service, and I've tested it a few times — I think it works. I didn't think I'd ever need it, but now I'm wondering if I do, because Blaine's here now. He's finally arrived. I know I've been begging for it since my first day here, but it's all wrong. He arrived from 2011, right after serenading Jeremiah.

I don't know if I'm just going insane, or if I'm in some kind of coma and making all of this up, but it feels too real to ignore. And not ignoring it is driving me mad. Blaine's here, but he's disappearing from me at the same time. (Does that even make sense?)

I feel like I should be documenting one memory a day just to make sure I don't forget.

We shared half a dozen kisses on the first day. I counted them as distinct, at least, even though I guess technically our lips only parted twice. There's this thing that Blaine does, takes a little breath against my lips without breaking contact with them. It tickles whenever he does it. I couldn't figure out how to do it for the longest time, because I thought that if we both sucked in air at the same time it'd be totally weird, so I'd give him the time to do it, then never manage myself, because I didn't want the kiss to stop any longer than it had to.

Eventually, I learned to just breathe with my nose. I think I did that the first time, but sometimes you start to second guess yourself after the shock. I know I did.